Crazy Girl

I'm kinda sad. Tomorrow is Thursday and on Friday I will have to go back "home" for work. That place doesn't feel like home any more. Here, J's house, this is home. The days I spend here, my off days, are so nice. I really love being here when he gets off. This week his boss is outta town so I am brought him lunch. Oh and I still need to tell Juan. I am so nervous. But I just need to do it. I really don't wanna pay another months rent. Then theres the whole thing of packing. Boooooooo that's gonna suck. I just did this. I wish I would have known I was gonna meet J. I would have just stayed at my gpa's a few more months. Oh well. Once its done, I'M DONE!! And I'll be w/ my love. Yay.

My tummy hurts. Had a root beer float w/ a whole pint of blue bell vanilla. Ugh. Sometimes ice cream upsets my tummy and other times it doesn't. And I'm toasty. The fan is pointed at the bed. Hmmm...I seem to be kinda whiny. I guess its probably time to head to bed then. But I really felt like I needed to stop by here and just do some mind clearing.

Sometimes I'll be just going about my life, just kinda in autopilot and something happens like a lyric on the radio or something and I just kinda snap to and realize damn I'm happy. Like right now I was sitting here whining about my tummy and that I'm hot. I have Pandora on, Eli Young Band playing Crazy Girl and it gets to the line:

"Without you I'd lose my mind
Before you ever came along
I was living life all wrong
The smartest thing I ever did was make you all mine"

I look over and Chance and J are in bed, sleeping away. My 2 loves. And I know, without a doubt that that's how J feels about me. And I am so lucky, so so lucky to make HIM all mine too. And that right there, knowing someone loves you back with the same intensity is comforting. I only love 100%. I don't do love partially. Once I let myself fall and I drop my guard I'm done, you've lost me. Theres no hope. LOL And I am enjoying this so much. Our FB friends probably hate us but who cares.

Mkay I'm gonna head to bed now. Maybe read some more of the 50 Shades Trilogy.