8 Years Ago Today

Wow...tomorrow is our 8 year anniversary. And here I am finishing up the paperwork to file.

8 years ago today we were finishing up rehearsal and headed to Mamacitas for the Rehearsal Dinner, where we had a fajita buffet and margarita machine in the little room upstairs. :( After dinner Russell and I went to my Maid of Honors apt and got high and hung out. Freaking out what the next day was bringing us. Russell dropped me off at my parents drive way and I was inside before the clock rolled over to 12:00 am 11/1/03.

Russ will always have a piece of my heart, but bottom line I was too young to make a decision on who to spend the rest of my life with. Especially since it was w/ someone who was already established and grown. I have changed so much in 8 years and unfortunately we didn't grow together. I'll tell tomorrows story tomorrow.

Happy Halloween. Sigh...Kinda feel like a downer now. Sorry about that. Don't worry, I am happier now. Really. Kevin is... amazing. He makes me smile. I feel like I am beaming whenever I talk about him. I know our situation is unusual, but that's ok. We both have these indescribable feeling for one another and we both have agreed to just enjoy. So that's what we are doing. He has planned a date for us on Friday. I am so excited. And he said he will get a cell in the next day or 2, here's hoping. I told him I wasn't holding my breath. lol He's just so busy working 6-7 days a week. Any free time he has on weekends is spent w/ his boy. But this week he is supposed to be getting off at 2 everyday. Maybe I'll wake up to a text or phone call from him.

I am having a hard time finding another WLS I can attend bc of my schedule. Oooo.... I found one. At the same hotel Kevin works at... I haven't told him yet. Guess I'm gonna need to mention it. Hope hes ok w/ it. Ok new date 11/12/11.

Ghost and/or Goblins

I'm better. And no I didnt shed a tear. I was very upset tho. Not so much bc of him, just bc of my awesome dating experience leading up to him. I am scarred. I worry what his intentions are and maybe this is all a joke or fake. I have horrible horror stories from the short time I've been dating and its really done a number on my self confidence. Blah...maybe I should let him know?? IDK....

Got a last minute Halloween party invite. So now I am trying to figure out what can I put together tomorrow that cost $0. Bc Russ used my debt card and didnt tell me and it put me in the negative. I've thought of re-using my 80's costume. A baby/kid - just pjs, pigtails, slippers and a teddy bear or bottle. Alien Abduction - that one looks fun, but its gonna require a lot of sewing by hand, closing leg and arm holes. And I also so the Yip Yip guys from Sesame St and that looks easy but I would need some moola. Bummer...

I feel so blah right now. I had some random hot pockets and I am so worried I got food poisoning again*. I'm sure I'm fine, but man your brain is powerful. I got my tums, naus-ezzz and mint gum and only an hr left of work. So worse case scenario I can fight it until I get off.

*The one time I can for sure say I had food poisoning was from a pepperoni hot pocket. It happened years ago but I still suffer from PTSD, lol.

Weekend Wrap Up

Friday I woke up w/ a sweet message from Kevin. I had intended to spend go grocery shopping and run a few other errands. I stopped by the Dollar Tree first and then headed over the Walgreens. By the time I was done there I didnt wanna do anymore shopping. I was hot and sweaty and the mosquitos* were swarming me like mad men. I had bought some halloween decorations but I wasnt gonna risk myself for that. And I have a whole brand new bottle of Off that I cant find anywhere. Ugh stupid.

Bingo

Saturday was my company picnic. Picked up Krystal and headed out there. It was such a nice day. I had 2 more tickets and gave those to my mom. The 3 of us had a blasty blast cracking up of dumb things like we like to do. We played some Bingo, didnt win then headed home. After dropping Krystal off, I went and got some Off. There was nothing left on the normal shelf, luckily there was a table set out and there were about 6 Deep Woods Off left. Thats it.



my purty momma




The Bestest BFF/Cousin and me



*So we have gone all summer long w/o any mosquitos. Normally we are fighting them all summer. But bc of the lack of rain we had none. Well it finally rained a good amout and a slight cool front and holy crap they are so bad. When I take chance out I literally have to dance around. They swarm any warm blooded creature as soon as you step outside. The only thing that sucks is I dont wanna come to work smelling like Off. And even after I walked Chance last night, I jumped right in the shower and it didnt seem to wash off? I guess its not supposed to come off that easy. So for the walk this morning I sprayed in on my clothes and wore 2 layers. Its so bad.

Thursday Thirteen

Heres are the 13 things on my brain right now.

1. Kevin - LOL of course. Sigh...I really like him.
2. My Family - This is to general for just one number so as I hit them they will get their own numbers. I feel so disconnected for some reason. I dont know if I am purposely doing it to keep from hurting or what.
3. My Mom - She left my dad and my relationship with her is ...changing. I love her so much, she is one of my best friends. But I found out stuff that had been happening that I felt like I didnt need to ever know. Now I have to figure out this new mother/daughter thing.
4. My Dad - Hes my stepdad. Yes I love him. Hes been w/ my mother and I since I was 2 but that doesnt change the fact that he is an alcoholic and an asshole. Do I want to have a continued relationship w/ him?
5. Ronnie - My older younger brother. He knocked up his gf and they are keeping it. Probably gonna get married. Dont like her. HATE that another person is having a freaking baby.
6. Halloween - I am so bummed out that we arent having our annual awesome party w/ the DJ. SO SO So so sad. Typically every year my mom throws a Halloween party w/ a DJ and everything and its awesome.
7. Ryland - His trial is quickly approaching. 1/26. OMG! I really worry that he has learned anything during this time locked up.I really dont think I can handle having to go my whole life visiting my baby brother in prison.
8. Russell - I wish I could just snap my fingers and make our situation normal. I hate the amount of involvement we still have. But I'm working on it. Just a few more weeks hopefully.
9. WLS - I had to cancel the last seminar and I am waiting for another Sat one to come along so I register again.
10. I want a baby. Its a phase but I do.
11. Being on my own and making it work. FYI Do not watch American Horror Story right before bed. OMG!!!!
12. Javi - I told him I had moved on and he got pissed at me. He only text me like once a week. He never has time to hang out. It took like 4 weeks to get him to come over and meet. Plus he isnt physically what I am interested in anyway so...no thanks.
13. Grocery shopping. I need to do it. I need cat litter, cat and dog food, milk, cheese, eggs, sugar, and lunch/dinner foods. I'm waiting....

So there ya go. 13 very random but honest thought I have had today. If not everyday.