8 Years Ago Today

Wow...tomorrow is our 8 year anniversary. And here I am finishing up the paperwork to file.

8 years ago today we were finishing up rehearsal and headed to Mamacitas for the Rehearsal Dinner, where we had a fajita buffet and margarita machine in the little room upstairs. :( After dinner Russell and I went to my Maid of Honors apt and got high and hung out. Freaking out what the next day was bringing us. Russell dropped me off at my parents drive way and I was inside before the clock rolled over to 12:00 am 11/1/03.

Russ will always have a piece of my heart, but bottom line I was too young to make a decision on who to spend the rest of my life with. Especially since it was w/ someone who was already established and grown. I have changed so much in 8 years and unfortunately we didn't grow together. I'll tell tomorrows story tomorrow.

Happy Halloween. Sigh...Kinda feel like a downer now. Sorry about that. Don't worry, I am happier now. Really. Kevin is... amazing. He makes me smile. I feel like I am beaming whenever I talk about him. I know our situation is unusual, but that's ok. We both have these indescribable feeling for one another and we both have agreed to just enjoy. So that's what we are doing. He has planned a date for us on Friday. I am so excited. And he said he will get a cell in the next day or 2, here's hoping. I told him I wasn't holding my breath. lol He's just so busy working 6-7 days a week. Any free time he has on weekends is spent w/ his boy. But this week he is supposed to be getting off at 2 everyday. Maybe I'll wake up to a text or phone call from him.

I am having a hard time finding another WLS I can attend bc of my schedule. Oooo.... I found one. At the same hotel Kevin works at... I haven't told him yet. Guess I'm gonna need to mention it. Hope hes ok w/ it. Ok new date 11/12/11.

Thursday Thirteen

Heres are the 13 things on my brain right now.

1. Kevin - LOL of course. Sigh...I really like him.
2. My Family - This is to general for just one number so as I hit them they will get their own numbers. I feel so disconnected for some reason. I dont know if I am purposely doing it to keep from hurting or what.
3. My Mom - She left my dad and my relationship with her is ...changing. I love her so much, she is one of my best friends. But I found out stuff that had been happening that I felt like I didnt need to ever know. Now I have to figure out this new mother/daughter thing.
4. My Dad - Hes my stepdad. Yes I love him. Hes been w/ my mother and I since I was 2 but that doesnt change the fact that he is an alcoholic and an asshole. Do I want to have a continued relationship w/ him?
5. Ronnie - My older younger brother. He knocked up his gf and they are keeping it. Probably gonna get married. Dont like her. HATE that another person is having a freaking baby.
6. Halloween - I am so bummed out that we arent having our annual awesome party w/ the DJ. SO SO So so sad. Typically every year my mom throws a Halloween party w/ a DJ and everything and its awesome.
7. Ryland - His trial is quickly approaching. 1/26. OMG! I really worry that he has learned anything during this time locked up.I really dont think I can handle having to go my whole life visiting my baby brother in prison.
8. Russell - I wish I could just snap my fingers and make our situation normal. I hate the amount of involvement we still have. But I'm working on it. Just a few more weeks hopefully.
9. WLS - I had to cancel the last seminar and I am waiting for another Sat one to come along so I register again.
10. I want a baby. Its a phase but I do.
11. Being on my own and making it work. FYI Do not watch American Horror Story right before bed. OMG!!!!
12. Javi - I told him I had moved on and he got pissed at me. He only text me like once a week. He never has time to hang out. It took like 4 weeks to get him to come over and meet. Plus he isnt physically what I am interested in anyway so...no thanks.
13. Grocery shopping. I need to do it. I need cat litter, cat and dog food, milk, cheese, eggs, sugar, and lunch/dinner foods. I'm waiting....

So there ya go. 13 very random but honest thought I have had today. If not everyday.

Change of Plans

So I was supposed to go to the seminar for the WLS on Saturday. But on Friday my mom called the jail in Olla, LA and asked if it would matter if I had a ticket/warrant. And the lady said no. So now I need to re register for the next one. I am a little bummed but I am so glad to have had the visit.
Now I am super bummed. I went to the website and there are no seminars on the weekend showing on the calendar. I'll have to call, last time I spoke w/ the girl she said they dont post all the dates.

We left for Olla at 2am. It was mom, dad, my little brother Ronnie and his gf Erinn. Drove the 5.5 hrs there and got a little lost. Just about 2 blocks from the driveway I got pulled over for SPEEEEEEEEDING. Again. This time really wasnt on purpose. The speed limit changes every few miles. So I missed one. He got me going 61 in a 50. And I was so scared. I wasnt sure how my old ticket would show up. He came back and asked me to step to the back of my car and I burst into tears. I was so scared. I dont wanna go to jail. No he was just having me sign the ticket. Dumb. Omg. That was scary.
Then when I was getting off the shoulder I peeled out accidentally. Ooops. lol

First visit was 8am-10:30am. We ate breakfast w/ him and it was the most awesome visit ever. The next visit started at 1, so we paid $60 for a hotel room so we could nap for 2 hrs. We were so tired from the drive. After our nap we went to the 1-3:30 visit. I just cant explain how nice it was to be able to sit at a cafeteria table and have him right there. To be able to hug him and hold him and squeeze him. And love him. It was like it hasnt been over a year. But I will say for the family that reads this, he looks different. His baby face is going away and he is more buff then Ronnie. After staring at him for a few hours he looked like my sweet Ryry again but not at first. My mom drove back and the rest of us slept off and on. Good trip.

Adam came over last night. He wanted to cuddle. Aww hes so cute. We laid in bed and talked. It was nice.

Lastly on the way to work today my car was riding kinda weird. And I kept saying I'm gonna have a blow out. And I did. I was about 5 mins from work. I was really hoping I would make it. Oh well. Now I have that sexy golden yellow donut on my car. I dont know when I will have an extra $180. My tires are so expensive. Dumb! Ugh.

So that was my fun filled weekend. I am going to be making an appt w/ my Dr to discuss my new found insomnia. I cant take it anymore. If I wasnt actually falling asleep all the time I'd be ok. Stupid.

MIA

Sorry for being gone for a few days.
After my last post I went to the dr that next morning and she said she didnt think it was strep. I didnt have a fever. She said she thinks its mono. I was kinda thinking that in the back of my mind. And I also have an ear infection. So antibiotics, some pain meds, and OTC sinus meds to help drain my tubes.
As expected I have gained 2lbs since my last weigh in. Boo. I did talk to her about my WLS thingy and she agreed. She was impressed w/ the amount of info I already had and said she agreed about the sleeve. She told me to keep her in the loop w/ insurance clearance etc.
Anyway she put me on voice rest and since my job is my voice I got an unexpected 4 day weekend. So I ended up being able to lay around in my pjs, nap and snack. Very happy. Its nice sometimes to take a break from the world.

Tonight is my last night w/ my roomies. I came back to pack up all my stuff, which isnt too much. I have 2 suitcases, 2 laundry baskets, 1 box, my lingerie bag, a CVS tote and then my bed, and laptop/laptop table. Didnt take me too long. Packed up all my shower stuff tho, oops. Cause I'll take one after the move. I'm sure I'll need it. The girls have been trying to convince me to stay by offering me all kinds of tempting offers. They cleaned out the room across from mine which has a walk in closet and is about 2 times the size. Its also cooler room temp wise, has an awesome window seat and recessed lighting. They even offered to lower the rent to $400. But I turned it all down. Many many reasons, but I am doing the right thing even tho $200 less a month is very tempting.