Seriously? You have GOT to be kidding me!

Friday, March 30, 2012


So I made the choice to move to my gparents house in between apts so I could pay some debts and such, which was a smart and responsible thing to do. But living in my gparents house has some negatives.
  1.  Kelli. Got in a huge fight with her last night. (Quickly for those who dont know, Kelli is a drug addict cousin of mine. Was my bff like 5 years ago but I couldnt put up w/ the drama she surrounds herself with so had to let her go. She has a 5 yr old, Melodi, that she doesnt have and a baby she put up for adoption.) And now shes pregnant. You know, I am not like dying to have babies or anything, more like I would just like it to happen. If God wants me to be a mommy I would love it. But its frustrating to see people like her be given the blessing to pop 'em out like its not a life. Anyway, yes big blow out fight.
  2. I AM SO BORED. My gma pretty much has the monopoly on the tv in the living room until 11. So on my days off all I can do, IF my gpa isnt using the computer, is surf the web. I need my laptop. OMG. Then I can keep myself entertained.
  3. I miss Chance. I really wanna keep my pupster w/ me. It was so hard to go to bed w/o him last night.
I thought I had more but I dont remember. lol Lost my train of thought.

Easter is coming. I wonder if I got the day off. I forgot to request off and so I am not sure if I made my request soon enough. It would be nice...

Oh yeah the title of this blog. The reason I am bringing this up is I am kinda stressed w/ the due dates for everything. No I dont have to pay rent. But I have everything pressing to be paid at the 1st of the month. And I am worried about making it. I dont wanna be behind or I'll never get into an apt. I need to pay off a few things so then it wont be so bad.

Lets see:
*Car Ins $100/monthly
*Title Loan(mom) $275/monthly(finance only) OR $1000 payoff
*Car $350/monthly
*Cell $272 1st month $200/monthly (minus Ronnies 1/2)
Laptop $150 1 time
Warrant $262 1 time

So my checks are about $1000, tell me what to do :) If I pay everything w/ the * I have $3 left, lol. Except, I would have cash from my brother and Russ...

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Happy Rhianna

What a long and busy week!! I was on "vacation" but really I spent the entire week sorting and packing the apt. It was emotional and a hard week. But I am one step closer to where I want to be so, GO ME. I am all moved out and in my gparents house for the next month or so. I didnt expect the reaction I had to being out of that apt. Friday I felt so ... happy. It was great. And my sleep is getting better too. Thank GOD! For real. Its not 100% but its getting there. I am still in a lot of pain tho. Which sucks. If I remember to take my meds as prescribed they lower the pain levels but nothing makes it zero pain. Hmph...
Lost track of time and my evening is almost over so I better wrap it up...

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Soundtrack to Your Post-Apocalyptic Life

  1. Trey Songz - Can't be Friends
  2. Drake - Marvins Room
  3. B.O.B - Airplanes
  4. Growth Mushroom
  5. Spandau Ballet - True
  6. Kelly Price - Tired
  7. Jamie Cullum - Gran Torino
  8. Black Eyed Peas - Just Can't Get Enough

Happy St. Patricks Day!!

I wish I could go back in time and remove that one week of craziness from my life. But oh well its there. I made it thru and I will always be grateful for having a man, MAN, who wouldn't quit fighting for what he thought was right. So I guess, I should be lucky it was only and week. Its in the past and that's where it will stay.

Thursday is the last day in my apt. Going to go stay w/ family for a month or 2 so I can pay off some debts *coughwarrantscough* lol. Then I figured by May or June be in an apt. Probably Pipers Cove w/ Krystal, which I am totally excited for BUT the floor plans/sq ft/price sucks. I can get something bigger, w/ a better lay out for cheaper, except Krystal doesn't live there, lol.

I am still having a lot of physically pain and trouble sleeping. I am on a 2 times a day rx for the inflammation/pain but I don't think its working. And I have a referral for a sleep study. Which I am nervous about.

Ryland was finally moved to a prison. Did I mention he signed his deal? He is eligible for parole in 2 yrs 2 months. Not too bad. I cant to get my warrants taken care of so I can see him!

Ok thats all...Trying to catch up on my google reader, so I'm off for now.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

but thats for a different day

I am a jumbled mess of emotions. I dont even know where to start. I heard that Toby Keith song on the way to work. Felt like someone was reaching out to me via radio. lol Hmmm So Kevin has successfully made a come back. I fought back for awhile but my heart ultimately won over my head. He is determined to show me that he means it. That I deserve the best... we'll see. I am not holding my breath.

I worry I have made a mistake.
This is really hard to deal with and I have so many emotions. And why do I want to be with the one that is most likely to hurt me and has lied to me?? Theres something wrong w/ me...