After last weeks post I had pretty much decided that Kevin and I needed to have a serious talk. I wasnt going to continue this way. Its too stressful and I dont think I was being irrational. I sent him an email overnight Thurs/Fri morning. The email is below:
So...I completely understand that you have a whole lot going on right now. So it makes it hard for us to physically see each other. But I don't understand silence. 2 weeks in a row we've gone days w/o "speaking." Its hard for me to understand how you don't even have 5 mins everyday to log in and just see how I'm doing or a quick phone call would blow my mind. Or even if you are going to MIA for a few days to tell me that, so I'm not sitting here wondering if you changed your mind.
If you aren't interested anymore the proper thing to do is tell me. (Which I hope isn't what you want.)
If you are just swamped and tired, please remember that I want to be a part of your life, I love you and being left alone and in the dark is hurtful and lonely and frustrating and heartbreaking....etc.
Please understand I'm not trying to be a bitch at all. My feelings are hurt. And I was looking forward to talking to you last night, only to have been forgotten...
If I have this all wrong and I've missed something please let me know.
PS I'll be waiting to hear from you.
Friday when he got to work at 6pm he logged in and messaged me inviting me to his work. I get there and the first think he does when he opens the door is say he's sorry and hugs me tight. We go in his office and I explain to him why I feel the way I do. We end up talking for hours. About everything. Laughing our butts off, telling stories, etc. It was so nice. We talked about the plans for Dallas (he got the job and has to move :'( I am so bummed). He told me more about Johnathan, his son and his level of Autism. He opened up more to me Friday night then ever before so far. Normally I do most the talking, not on purpose, if I stopped we'd just sit there. But not this time. lol
The hours flew by and before we knew it it was 11. The party he was working was supposed to end at 11 so we wrapped up our convos and started heading for the door. As I leaving he pulled me back and said I didnt have to leave just yet and the look in his eyes... I hadnt seen that in awhile. He had been so stressed w/ everything going on he had forgotten us. He's a cuddler and loves to just hold me. I stayed awhile longer and when we heard the music stop upstairs, he walked me to my car, where he promised me to not leave me hanging and told me that as soon as I meet Johnathan our relationship will totally change, for the better. So... I'm waiting on that now.
Since Friday we have talked all day Saturday, a little Sunday and he messaged me today to say he was on his way home and he would message me when he got home. He is supposed to come over tomorrow and spend the night for the first time. OMG I am so excited. I took tomorrow off so I can make sure my house is presentable.