Just got done writing Ryland. I love being about to basically email him. Too bad he cant "email" back. But thats ok. Its fun to get actual letters in the mail.
Today was a rough day at first. I was feeling really down on myself. Its very discouraging to be talking to someone and once you share pics they disappear. The first time it happens, you brush it off, but it happened like I dont even know how many times in the last week. And after it happened basically twice yesterday I couldnt shake it and cried about it this morning. I mean, damn it, I am NOT ugly. And I dont lie about my size, so its really frustrating bc I am awesome and they are dumb to not see that. Plus I am way more awesome once you get to know me. Anyway, I'm over it now.
Marc and I have been talking about me standing up for myself more and not playing into the asshole games. If thats not what I want I shouldnt settle. No matter what it is. I deserve to be happy. Thats hard for me. Not because I think I dont deserve it, I'm just too nice and let things slide/over look things. I give multiple chances, etc. And I have been sacrificing my morals/standards for dating in the hopes of finding the one. I am not going to find him that way. If hes the one he will respect me. My boundaries wont be dismissed and overlooked, but respected. He will take the time to get to know me, as a person FIRST. And he will fall in love with me. Bc anyone who takes the time to see me as more then a pair of (awesome) boobs and ladybits does.
True story :) Because I am awesome and I deserve to be 100% happy.
Speaking of which, there was a guy who responded to my CL ad last week. We have been talking very slowly via email. He is in school and its the end of the semester and its his last semester so hes super busy, but I IM-ed him today on gmail. It was the 1st time we IM-ed and it went really well. At the end of the convo he asked me to a movie on Tuesday.
I got a date!
OMG I am so happy. lol I mean I know its only the first date, but its not about him...well it is. Its finally a date. No one has asked me on date. Yippie. lol ok...I'm calm...I promise. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee