Oh yeah!

I completely forgot to tell y'all about my dream last night! Ugh! I hate when I have dreams that feel so real I wake up pissed off or whatever.

So, J and I were in HS and we were dating. Apparently is was kinda new. We were hanging out one day, I think it was supposed to be a weekend, with our group of friends (which was the kickers, btw, which I never associated w/ in HS). We were all hanging out at the pool at my grandparents house, except it was a creek/lake instead of the pool. There was another girl there and some mentioned she was pregnant. Somehow between that "scene" and the next I realized it was Jon's baby. Either someone told me or something. So the next scene I am standing in the hall at school in front of my locker, waiting on Jon to come in. And everyone of our friends know too and he knows I know. Hes purposely waiting till the last minute to come. Finally he walked in as soon as the bell rings and I yell his name. I was like we need to talk. And hes like but first I gotta go check in class. But I wouldnt let him.

Well anyways we try getting off campus for what seems like forever so we can talk. Its literally a maze and there are teachers and stuff following us, plus other skippers, lol. We have to jump off really steep platforms, and climb up bleachers. Finally we get away and I ask him what is going on? I thought he loved me? What does he want? He says he loves me then I woke up.

I was pissed!! It was so frustrating too. All that running around and I never even got any answers. lol
Weird.

MMmm Breakfast

I almost had to actually work a whole day yesterday, but I was offered undertime at 1, so I got off an hour early.  Which worked out well bc I was able to get Chance into his new groomers. I love them so much and they did such a good job. Got home and started dinner. Picked up the bedroom a little. I really need to clean the living room but I have been putting it off. Maybe today or this weekend. Donna came down and apparently needed to socialize bc she hung out w/ me for a few hours and talked. I pretty much kept my mouth shut. I am finally learning my lesson. Its just so hard for me to not talk back. I am a talker.

Jon came home and we ate dinner. The Italian Chicken w/ brown rice came out so good last night. OMG. I probably ate more then J did. I was definitely full when I was done. Packed up our lunches and had some snuggles. Much needed snuggles. Hmm...lol.

Well its Friday. I made it thru my first week M-F. I'll be glad when I get my internal clock set for this schedule. I didnt nap yesterday and went to bed late-ish. Looking forward to sharing my weekend w/ J. Only thing planned so far is my brothers bday party @ 1 on Saturday.

My gpas surgery is today. He has to be at the hosp at 8. So please pray everything goes well. And I'll update again soon.

TGIF :)

Miss Me?

Man I have been meaning to blog all week. But my new schedule makes it more difficult to find time to blog. I guess I could do it after work altho this week I have been busy every single day, even w/ getting off 2-3 hrs early.
Found out late Sunday night that my gpa is having heart problems so Friday he is having surgery. So Krystal, little Everett, and I went over there after I got off on Monday. Then drove back home and pretty much crashed. I was so tired from the schedule swt and lack of sleep, plus then driving to CL and back. OMG. I basically stayed up till J got home, packed our lunches and was out.
Tuesday I got off early, stopped at the grocery store and picked up some chicken for dinner and made some yummy Salsa Chicken. It was a new recipe and it came out soooo good. Since J and I went grocery shopping Sunday night I had planned our dinners for the week. I also had time to do some laundry and argue/talk w/ Donna. Basically the he said/she said between her and J was driving me insane. It was all over the water bill. So when J got home I told him I was paying it. I couldnt take it anymore. I felt so bad bc first off he had had a rough day at work then having to come home to that. But I tried explaining to him, in my mind I knew he was right BUT I needed peace in the house. Its driving me crazy.
Yesterday was another early day. J wanted me to stop by the shop on the way home so I did. He handed me a printed out receipt. He paid the water bill in full. GRRR! I was gonna do it myself. But I should have known better (he wont let me pay for much, I do pay my own bills tho). The water was shut off when I got home. Took Chance to the vet for his annual exam and vaccines. I had yet to take him since I got him. He is a healthy, happy little pup. Got all rabies vaccine, and meds for fleas and heartworm prevention. They also gave me some more eye drops. Before I left I got a referral for a groomers. He needs a haircut bad! lol He looks like a stuff animal right now. Tried another new recipe last night. Chicken and dumplings. Came out so good. Yummy yummy. And like the old couple we are, in bed by 9.

Thats the update. I am gonna try to either update in the mornings when I first get to work or after I get off from now on. Other then that not much else too exciting going on. I am def enjoying being home and being able to feed my man, lol. Our diets are going well. This weekend is my brothers bday party. I'm hoping to do something w/ J, since we finally have weekends together. He has 2 realtor's looking for our place. As soon as we find something, applications and deps made we are outta there. But either way gotta be out by Apr 2.

Mkay this was a pretty good update. I'm done. :)

Dropping Shoes

I have currently been preparing for some blog dumping. I know my post lately have been, well, boring and pretty few and far between. Its mostly related to the fact that J and I are basically in life hiatus. We are currently suspended in motion and have been for a few months. Although we jumped very quickly from dating to living together, we kinda stalled out for 3 months. First waiting for my schedule change that is literally only days away. Technically 2 days away. Holy crap. But yes so that is the first one and we thought that would never come.

Now it seems we are becoming anxious for the other shoe to drop; so to speak. Another 2 months of kinda holding our breath and just getting thru the day to day. I'm speaking of course of the lease ending here and J and I getting our own place separate from Danny and Donna.

I feel like the first thing I should be blogging about is work and my work schedule changing. But now I really feel like the most pressing for me to just get out is the move. Just to be clear before I start, Jon would never had moved me in if he knew what those 5 months would be like. So yeah.

I am losing my mind slowly. I hate hate hate hate hate living her w/ Donna. I am the type of person who feel like communication is key. Period. Adults need to discuss things. Roommates need to talk. Every person in this house has a different way to handle issues that arise. Now... on top of that Donna is a drug addicted unemployed felon stupid fucking bitch and Danny is an alcoholic dumb ass. First the alcohol binges, then drugs. They fight. They owe money. They break shit. But there's a million fucking issues w/ the money, bills, and payments...

I could go on and on.

I am so fed up. And I feel so bad for Jon. Being on the other side of family drama...SHIT. FUCKING FUCK ME. Its gotten to where I stay in our room all 3 days off. I don't want to have anything to do w/ them. But I hate to feel this way, in a place I have to call home. I have kinda jokingly thought what if I left temporarily until we got our own place. But I would never never never EVER leave Jon behind. I couldn't imagine going back to the way it was those first few weeks. Oh God. No.

Guess what babe. 75 Days. 75 nights until April 2.

So, we'll do it together. One day at a time.
I can't wait.

NSV

Non Scale Victory

1. My ankles arent swollen at the end of the day any more.
2. I put on my tennis shoes and tied them w/o feeling like I was gonna rupture my sleen trying to bend over.
3. My fav long sleeve vneck black shirt that used to make my boobs look amazing it to baggy and uncomfy.

Sweet!

A New Year. A New Me.

Some things that I am looking forward to w/ the weight loss.

1. Being able to shop till I drop again. Right now my back starts to hurt really soon. So a few of these are gonna be related to that but I want to be specific.
2. Going to the Ren Fest.
3. I really wanna go ride some go-carts.
4. PAINTBALL :)
5. Going to the Texas Battleship thingy w/ Jon.
6. Concerts.
7. Football/Baseball Games (going to them, not playing)
8. Amusement Parks/Roller Coasters.
9. I wanna skydive.

Pretty much just being more active in general. I feel like I have let my weight hold me back from so much the last 2-3 years and that makes me sad. I always said I would never let that happen.

There are a lot of other things to look forward to also. Like:

1. Buying clothes in a reg store.
2. Being able to buy a ladies version of shirts (ie: concert, sports)
3. I want Jon to be able to pick me up all cute like and not like a fireman lift. lol

Then of course there are mental/emotional reasons.

1. Not feeling like everyone is staring at me bc I'm fat.
2. I have a lot of social anxiety about new places and stuff and I know its bc of my weight, wondering if they have space for me, will I be comfortable, seating, etc, so not having to worry about that.
3. Being a thin bride.
4. Being healthy enough to hopefully be able to get pregnant w/o any fertility issues.
5. Having a healthy pregnancy.

So yeah, thats not all of it but I wanted to remind myself why this is gonna be the time for me. I'm 30 and starting over fresh.

I GOT THIS!!! :)

Beggars cant be Choosers

The other night I needed gas on my way home. Bad call there. But I had planned on going during my lunch break but the drive thru took too long. Now, I could have made it home w/o stopping but I was trying to avoid J lecturing me about it being bad for my car to go that low on gas. Anyways, so I stop. Its 12:30am. I am white. And female. And I work like in HOUSTON HOUSTON. Not like in a suburb. BUT I haven't ever had issues before. So I swipe my card and start to pump. This young black guy came up to me and started begging me for a ride. I couldnt freaking believe it. And to make matters worse he was upset w/ me when I told him no. I was like you have got to understand my reason for not doing it. Then when I wouldnt give in he started begging for money. I had $5 cash and he was getting closer and closer while I was trying to get in my car so I just gave him the $$ and drove off. But he really fucking pissed me off. Its night time, I am female and alone. Dont come up to me. Otherwise I am going to assume you are trying to do something to me. I dont care if you are white, black, young, old, hell even male or female. Get away. And to make me feel bad bc I'm not gonna drop you off somewhere, give me a break.
Ugh...
Learned my lesson tho. No more late night gas stops.