Seriously? You have GOT to be kidding me!

Monday, May 14, 2012

I wanna wake up skinny

I am so disappointed right now. Kelli left rehab either last night or today. Man my family was really praying that this was it. I am not kidding when I say I am done. I've done it before and I will do it again. I will delete her from Facebook, stop responding to text, not answer her phone calls. Its hard. I worry about her. What if one of those text is an emergency?? But I really feel like the whole family needs to step in and say we wont just let you sit here, sick, and be ok w/ it. Get help or get out. I wish everyone could be strong enough to actually do that. That poor baby she has, shes 6(?) months. Ugh!!

I have been feeling very...disconnected again lately. I hate for things in my life to be blah, mundane. I like to feel happy, I want to be IN LOVE... I enjoy feeling giddy and excited. It seems like I had spent too much time putting all this energy into the wrong relationships and now I just want to already be far enough into a relationship to be established.

Speaking of, had a 2nd date w/ Chris. It went well. I like him. I would say the negatives are completely un related to him or us, really. Time, distance and work schedules are major negatives. I would like to see him more then once a week, and get the feeling he would too, but currently it seems we are stuck dealing. We started talking about seeing each other on my off days this week. Didnt agree on anything yet. We cant decide what we wanna do. I am too relaxed. Really I'm good w/ hanging at the house. But I think if it develops into more we'll have plenty of time to do that, we should take advantage of this dating phase now.

I actually have quite a few things I wanna get done this "weekend." I need to pay my car note, get my a/c fixed in my car, my brother wants me to come hang and see his new place, visitation w/ my puppy, see Chris, hang w/ my bff at some point. And I really wanna swim/tan too. Oh and I need new work shoes.

Man, I am so bored...come on, someone needs to text me or something...help keep me awake...

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