Meet Zac. He is an Azzhole.

I am so sick and tired of the whole "all guys are just assholes" excuse. That’s not acceptable. Guys shouldn’t be allowed to just be inconsiderate douchers and then turn around and say that lame excuse. Its so much crap.

So. Was there a reason for this vent? Of course there was.

Yesterday a guy posted an ad on CL in the men for women section (which is typically for those seeking more then friends but less then a casual hook up). In his ad he specified he was looking for someone to potentially have a relationship with. He also stated as far as sex goes he is willing to wait (but if you offer…). He also included some personal info about himself.

I liked his ad and decided to respond. We emailed back and forth a few times. And it was going so well. That should have been my first clue. After emailing for awhile I gave him my cell and we were texting. Making plans to have lunch or maybe swim. So excited. Finally a halfway decent guy for once, so far.

He starts changing the subject to meet up at a hotel. I kinda brush him off. He keeps pushing about hooking up and so I ask him, "I thought you wanted to meet someone and the sex was secondary?"

"Yeah that’s what I thought but now I kinda think sex is more important."

"Hmm so you wanna meet and have sex and then decide if you want more w/ that person?"

"Yeah."

"Well I am not really looking to sleep w/ a bunch of guys, so as long as this isn't a one time thing. We could get dinner and see how it goes."

We both agree on that and the convo moves forward. Then all of a sudden he sends me a text that says "I am an asshole, you deserve better, good luck in your search."

Hmmm. What?! I was so confused. I question him a little and he informs me that his sole intention was to make a girl think he wanted more then a one night stand. Once that was done he was going to convince her to meet him at a hotel to sleep w/ him. And then he would ditch her…me!!

W.T.F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I made him feel bad bc he actually liked me and so he started feeling guilty and spilled the beans. I chewed him out, up and down. What an azzzzzzzhole!! Why would he do such a thing? Wouldn’t it be better to have awesome sex w/ a someone decent multiple times. Someone who you could have fun w/ in and out of the bedroom? I just don’t get it. And if I would have gone thru w/ it and we slept together, I'm sure he would have said all these BS lies about stuff we would do together. The "next" time we hung out we would do this and maybe we could go here.

I was so mad I had angry tears. I posted a rant online and got a bunch of responses about how guys are dicks and just wanna get you in bed. NO! If someone tries that line on me one more time I am going to flip out. All men are human and they need to have some amount of compassion for other people. Stop thinking w/ their junk. Or I'm gonna punch 'em in their precious one eyed wonder.
Jerks.

Guilt - Why!?

So after that post yesterday about him being what I want and I always get what I want I started feeling so bad. That's not me. I am not the one to cross the line. I tease, I push, I flirt but I always stop at "that" line bc I don't wanna be the one to cross it. And I did. I stepped across that line and pulled him with me. Eww. I was torn up about it. And bc of that it wasn't even good. I mean, it was and I had fun but it felt different. First I was gonna email him via facebook but then I thought maybe that's not a good idea. So I decided to text him this afternoon. And I apologized. Altho he didn't really accept my apology, he said I had nothing to apologize for, I still feel better. And I learned my lesson on that one. If I am the one in a relationship I don’t have guilt, but if its someone else in a relationship I apparently feel all kinds of torn up. Weird. But I understand how he felt when it was the other way around.

Don't Care How, I want HIM now :)

I hate being tired at work. But I guess that’s what happens when you stay up all hours of the night seducing a boy. My old "flame" Fat Mike came by last night. After hanging w/ the roommates, talking and smoking, they went to bed. I know how much of an attraction he has to me (and me to him) so… I took advantage of him. He has a GF but I wanted to make out a little, my fav thing to do w/ him. I get what I want. He kept telling me how evil I was. Why was I torturing him? lol Shut up you know you like it. We didn’t go over board. Just a little harmless fun…heh hehheh. He stayed till almost 5am. And now I would give anything for a coffee.

Wow… I now have coffee. I love working w/ my ex. He is still so nice and always bringing me stuff. Good. I really needed it. I was looking like I was staring at my keyboard, but really I had dozed off and my head was falling forward. HA!

Still chatting w/ the Genie. He seems to have my attention currently. Seems really fun and might be what I am looking for. The virgin propositioned me. He wants to pay me for a BJ. Really. REALLY? OMG! I cant do it tho. What's wrong w/ guys? Why cant he ask me out and we just have a good time. If that happened I'm sure eventually we would get to the bj part. Even if he was saving vaginal intercourse (which is the actual words he used to me) for marriage. Gosh boys are so dumb. Fo real.

SO now my coffee is kicking in and I am wired. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Things are still going well w/ my roomies. They redid the living room this weekend. It looks so good. They like to go out to Houston and go to bars and clubs, go out dancing. They invite me, and I have considered it, I mean I dont have to get drunk or act a fool. I'm sure I would have a blast BUT they drive drunk. And that really bothers me. You know how mad I would be if they killed me, lol. Seriously tho. Not cool. Maybe I can be their designated driver. But drunk people piss me off. IDK... maybe it would just be better to not go. Me and my cousin should do stuff like that tho. We'd have a blasty blast AND I trust her drunkness....usually, mostly. Yeah most the time. lol

Vacation is Over

Went back to work today. Lame. I never do anything fun on vacation. All I do is sit around my house feeling lazy. Weekend was kinda boring. No new boys came around. I am talking to a few. An important one to mention is my ex BF from HS. Justin. We were together for 4 yrs. Started "dating" in 8th grade and broke up in Sept of my JR year. He was my first. Awww I know. How adorable. We have got in contact w/ each other once before in 2007ish. And it was just so weird bc we seemed to be right where we were before. Like no time had past. And we connected again via facebook last week. Since then we have been texting and talking until all hours of the night. We have both agreed we would like to see each other again, like face to face. But he is in Dayton. Boo. Maybe I can take a road trip :)
There is also this virgin guy. He is saving himself till marriage. He hasn’t done anything hardly. I tried to ditch him after text for a few, but he has been persistent. Lol I don’t wanna be his "teacher." That’s not what I am looking for at all. It might be fun…idk.
There are 2 other guys. One that looks like a genie. And one that’s actually pretty cute. Nothing too exciting or interesting going on there.
Off to go rub a genies lamp… lol.

My Lightbulb Moment

I have been talking to lots of boys. Over 16 if we wanna be completely truthful. It was fun and exciting. Waking up every morning w/ 8 new text and several emails is fun. Texting all day long and into the night. Sending pic messages, emails, IM-ing. I love it all. I love the attention. Its nice to feel wanted. Even if its only for physical reasons.

But in the end of the day, it actually just made me feel lonelier. Weird? Not really. I miss the companionship of my marriage. No one to eat dinner with or snuggle on the couch. Sleeping in an empty bed...wait...I am enjoying that for now, I would like to have someone in that bed sometimes. Lol

Even tho I am just out a relationship, I am not willing to sleep w/ every boy who comes along just bc I am afraid of commitment too soon. I have decided to literally make a list of all the boys and start crossing out some names. And I also have decided to not be so open minded and to stick to my guns when it comes to something I am particular about. No more 2nd chances. NO! Sucks to be you. Also no IM-ing for a million years, do you wanna meet me yes or no? Yes when? No then seeeeeeeeeeeeeee yaaaaaaaaaaaa. I am not a yo-yo, you cant just string me along at your convenience. I am in control. GRRRR.

Sorry got a little excited there. But you get the message. I'll let you know how it goes chump.

Aging Gracefully

I am 29. What. The. Crap. How did this happen to me?
No! No way. I give myself 5 mins to freak out about being old and not being in the place you had hoped. Ready? GO!
I am separated from my husband of 7 years. I have no kids. I am still fat. I feel like I am no where near where I wanted to be. Going into my 20's will be the same as leaving my 20's. Where did I go wrong? I know exactly where I went wrong. I lived my life for others. Not for me. Don't get me wrong. I am not regretful. I am happy and love being me. But I learned something. I am awesome.

Ok that was 5 mins.
I am done w/ that. 29 will be the best year. I will do everything I need to do, I will do what makes me happy. I will have fun and be spontaneous (for me). Its like a new year resolution, except for my bday instead.

I am looking forward to what is coming next. In the last 14 days I have experienced so much excitement and commotion. I know that will simmer down, and actually I am working on doing that myself. I am ready to get into a nice little groove of things and see how they go.

Ladies! Just Say No.

One of the hardest things I have had to get adjusted to in the dating world is the expectation of sex.
The last time I checked sex wasn't a 1st date thing. But apparently I am the only one who thinks that way. Now I don't adhere to any strict dating-sex code. Actually I am very relaxed when it comes to dating and sex. As I have said previously I enjoy the company of men. I am not opposed to sex. Actually give me more sex. Please. But I have an amount of respect for myself and you need to respect that. Any man who is too pushy deserves to be slapped. We need to go back to the days of whipping our hands back and smacking those fresh boys right across their dirty mouths.

When I first stepped foot into the dating world I was bombarded with messages from guys asking if I would sleep with them. Or how they wanted to sleep with me!? I was shocked but continued forward and found that guys wanted to meet at their homes, heck even cars, to hook up the very first time we would see each other. But they were interested in dating maybe. So it wasn't like I somehow wandered into Casual Encounters on my local Craigslist. This was a dating website. Where in the hell is the dating? I have gone on 1 date, wait 3. Three dates since January. Two to Starbucks, one to sushi. Even one of those the guys tried to get me to ... uh hold his hand under the table. lol heh

Of course if I am going to enjoy this time I do need to loosen up. And so I have. I am open to meeting new boys, and seeing where it takes me. I would like to stay alive and disease free so I am doing it the best and safest way for me. Every woman will take this road differently but I think we need to make sure the reasons we skeeze it up are the right ones. Have fun. And listen to that internal voice. Pay attention to it. Its usually right.

So What Are Your Expectations?

Why, thank you Blogger for asking.

Its simple really.
Must Haves:

• I am looking for a college educated OR skilled blue collar working man.
• Between the ages of 25-34*
• Similar religious and political views**
• Funny/relaxed personality
• Sexually open minded/adventurous
• Own car
• Like BBW's
• Family oriented - my family that is

Optional:

• No kids
• Own home***
• 420 friendly****
• Tall

*Semi flexible w/ this one, maybe a year younger, couple years older.
**Methodist and Liberal - Semi flexible here too, really needs to be liberal though
***Can be renting a house
****Not everyday and it cant interfere with life

Notice I don't have any physical features listed except tall. I prefer tall men. The taller the better. I used to always date 6'3 and up. I loved it. But other wise looks are negotiable. I have found all types of men attractive. If someone is sweet, friendly, can make me laugh, meets the other must haves I at least attempt to make a connection.

This has gotten me nothing but headaches and good blog entries.
Next Blog Entry title "Ladies! Just Say No."

In the Beginning

Here's my about me:
My name is Rhianna and I am newly single err separated. I am still currently married to my husband of 7 years but after too many attempts to save my marriage I started pulling the plug for real in December. As much I know what I am choosing is the right thing for me, I obviously have doubts. I wouldn't even go as far as to say doubts. I have bad days. Yeah bad days. But I have good days too.

I met my ex when I was 1 month from my 18th birthday. So essentially I have never been single as an adult. Now we didn't get married till I was 21 but I would say we were committed by the time I was 19. How can you make a decision on who you want to spend your entire life with at such a young age. He was older then me and I would say the major crack in our foundation was the age. He was already "grown" into himself. I hadn't even started yet.

As a teen I did enjoy the boys. :) I have always been boy crazy and I was a lot more into playing the field. It came so natural to me to persue my interest. I slept around without a care or worry in the world. So far into my singleton I haven't found my groove yet. I have had the most amazingly awful first dates and interactions with men out there. I have laughed and cried through these short 6 months already and I just don't see it getting boring anytime soon.

So, welcome to Greater Expectations. I will blog my way thru dates and disasters. Trying to get a 2nd chance at a life I never got to experience and hopefully find something amazing at the end...