Even tho there was a whole lotta bullshit going on bc of my dads craziness (and the apparent goings on of my mother) we were a very close loving family. My family and extended family as well has always been unusual when I compare them to other peoples families. We all live in the same area and we LOVE getting together. We are all christian and I would say are very strong in our faith. I have always felt like bc we are so faithful is the reason we are blessed w/ such a loving family. We have my grandparents who would give anything for one of us in need. I have 3 sets of aunts and uncles plus their kids. All of my cousins have grown up together. We get together frequently and mostly enjoy each other company. My most awesome bff and the lone subscriber over there <-------- is also my cousin.
At home, my brothers, mother and I, were all very loving and so was my dad. Ryland and I are super close. We are so much alike so we clicked. He and I have a special bond and he loves me so much. Its really hard that he is so far away for so long. I cant wait till he comes homes. But thats not my point. Every family has there secrets. No matter how perfect it seems from far away. Deep down there are things going on in there that no one knows about. Addiction. Abuse. Adultery. Money problems.
None of those things should take away the love. I worry about how my family will come out of all this. But I have faith that God will see us thru. I have had some bad days since the start of this. And I get mad. I cry. I question what it was all for then. Why did we even bother to BE a family? Wouldnt it have been easier if we all just got along but didnt build such a strong family core. That way when it broke we could just walk away like it never even mattered. Out of all of this I have never once questioned my faith. And thats how I know I will be ok. God has a plan. It will all work out in His time. It sucks so bad right now but I know the suffering is not what God wanted. We are given free will and we make worldly mistakes that may take us off the path God has intended for us. And that sometimes takes us thru hard times.
But Dear Baby Jesus (my God has a sense of humor) please please please can You comfort my broken heart and those members in my family who are also going thru heartache. Amen
And I know this as my truth. Doesnt have to be yours :)