Sorry for being MIA for almost a week. Theres a lot going on both in life and in my head and I havent been able to process it all.
First off BOA repo-ed my car. I am super annoyed about it bc I honestly didnt know I was far enough behind for it to be repo-ed. I mean I knew I was behind, but... yeah. That happened over night Friday. So I have been vehicle-less for a few days. I am getting it back just trying to get a total from BOA. Even tho they took the car Fri/Sat it still has yet to be processed. Bc of this I am on an impromptu vacation. Yay.
Saturday night Kevin asked if I would be interested in moving in w/ him and his son when they move down here. That wont be till after the first of the year, so we still have time to get to know each other. He said he is ready for me to meet his son. Wow... yeah ok. Sunday he told me if he gets this job (that hes in Dallas for the 2nd interview) then when I move in I wont have to work. Wow again. I understand his reasons, he even said when he asked me to move in, that he just wants to be with me all the time. So if I kept this current job I wouldnt be home when he was, or have the same days off. But I dont think I wanna not work at all. IDK. I'll have to see how the next few months go.
I went and saw Kevin at his job Monday night and hes just so awesome. He pushes me outta my comfort zone in a good way. Makes me not be to uptight and rigid. He has an office thats kinda out of the way and a door that locks. So we had alittle fun, which was so not like me at all. I am not an outside of the box kinda girl. His office is also just a hallway away from the lake. We sat out there for awhile and talked more. It was really nice out there.
OK so thats all the actual stuff. But internally I am fighting myself. I hate the fight. I am so afraid of rejection. And the unknown. All my head does all day is worry. I'm gonna have an ulcer by the time we move in together. Its all unfounded. I know this. So at the same time I am worrying I am also trying to tell myself to calm down, shut up and everything is fine. I am such an uptight person. I wind myself up tighter and tighter. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaah!!! I am annoying myself.
I love Kevin.
Kevin loves me.
Everything is good.
(repeat until Jan)