Seriously? You have GOT to be kidding me!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Friends Forever?

Ok I had been debating whether I wanted to talk about this/how I wanted to. But it is my blog and I can talk about whatever I want to. So with that said my topic is:
Breaking up w/ Friends.
This is very hard to accomplish. I have many times in my life been at a cross road w/ a friendship. Wanting to end it for one reason or another. And its so hard. No matter the reason. Too far. Too much baggage. Too needy. They are selfish/bad friends. Etc. All of those are legit reasons. How do you do it? Let it fade away, but that requires the other person to also let it die. Tell the other person. That takes balls but is ultimately a good choice.
But what I do know is that sometimes you just don't have time to add a new friend to your line up. Especially if that person wants/needs a lot of actual time from you. Or you could have been in a situation where you weren't intending to really maintain a friendship but it kinda happened but then you found yourself in a weird place. An ex who wants to be friends, hang out, do things, sounds a lot like dating, but don't develop feelings for them bc its one sided. And you'll just be hurting yourself. A HS bff who you've outgrown and physically drains you when the 2 of you are together.
Sometimes it hurts you to see them end. Sometimes it feels like a weight has been lifted. And others you feel guilty about. Or what if you are the one being broken up with. That's always crushing...

I think the easiest way and least soul damaging is the slow goodbye. And if you realize that is happening to you, re-evaluate your relationship w/ that person and chose your reaction. Defensive? Confrontational? Acceptance? If you chose to confront your (ex)friend be prepared to potentially be ignored. Or maybe hear some things about yourself you don't wanna hear. If you decide to let it go, don't judge yourself or think poorly on that person. Not everyone can be best friends. People are meant to come and go in your life. You live and learn from each other. It doesn't have to be a bad thing to let people go.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you learn to let go, things go wrong so that you learn to appreciate them when they are right, you believe lies so that you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together." Marilyn Monroe

PS I do think that some friendships stay in your life forever and just come and go thru different life cycles. Also if you love someone and need them in your life you can totally fight to keep them there. But know the difference and listen to your heart.

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