I Rarely Use Apostrophes

Feeling much better. Whatever the issue was I ate eventually and was fine. So thats good. Never had a chance to leave work early yesterday as much as I really wanted to go home. I'm freaking sleepy. I miss Jon. lol I know, we have more time together now then ever, but...our evenings go so quickly. First off his schedule isn't set. Some days hes home at 7 and the next day its 8:30-9. And we both want to spend some time together before we head to bed. We end up pushing it. AND if theres ever time for some cuddles I am def up past my bedtime. Its doesnt help that someone...not gonna mention any names, JONATHAN E. H. decided to get some one all worked up @ 11pm and then tell me to go to sleep. Grrrr. Yeah, maybe tmi for my blog, I try to keep things family friend but ummm I was left hanging! Well...doesnt matter, there will be no dinner cooked tonight, he better eat a snack wrap on the way home and do some stretches...thats all I'm saying. lol

Came out to ice on my car this morning. Took forever to defrost. The cars closer to the house didnt have any. Stupid. I wanna park in the garage tho. Thats where cars go. Ugh I cant wait till we move. Whether I park in the garage or not. Speaking of which I'm having an internal conflict with Valentines Day. Since we are moving, we are saving our monies for deps and stuff. Well Valentines is coming up and its our first one. I want to tell J he doesnt have to worry about getting me anything. Maybe we can postpone our V-day or celebrate something else once we move in. BUT the other side of me is like UM its our FIRST V-day. I want something. lol So, J figure that one out. :) What I really want is this new necklace trend Living Locket. They are super cute.

OK well I hope this day goes quickly. I am ready for Friday.

Gross Post

You know what I hate?
Waking up to the feeling of having to puke.

I'm sure no one enjoys that but seriously, its the worst wake up ever. And thats what my morning entailed. My stomach was a firey pit, my palms were sweaty and all the color had drained from my face. At this point I am having an internal convo, please dont throw up, oh GOD please please please. I couldnt tell if it was heartburn/reflux or if I had a bug or something. It wasnt the typical heartburny thing I sometimes get (which btws I seem to have mostly kicked it w/ my diet). The convo continued, I cant miss work. I dont wanna miss work. Of course I would get sick right after a old absence fell off. I'm trying to clear out my old occurrences.

This goes on for awhile and I knew for sure I was gonna die. Luckily it passed and I am now sitting at work. I feel ok. Mostly. Of course I wont be eating anything today. lol Or not till I am starving.

So I hoped you enjoyed my morning, lol. Besides that last night I decided I wanted to learn how to play Madden. I played one came by myself. I feel like I did good for it being my first time. Of course Jon would kick my ass when we play together. But I'm a good sport. I just think it will be fun to play together...until I get really good and then I'll kick his ass. Hehehe.

Alrighty, I have a headache and my throat is killing me now...stupid stomach!

5 WHole Months

Today is me and Jons 5 month anniversary. Wow. Feels longer. Nothing planned or expected for this. Just wanted to acknowledge it. We stopped celebrating the month anniversaries at 3. Now maybe the 6th month we'll do something small. Mainly bc thats how long we were supposed to last. lol Ugh loser.

Last night J did text me to let me know the #1 house that we wanted is showing as option pending. Boo. We are gonna go look at houses next Sunday. We were gonna go this Sunday but its my gpas bday party. I am dying to start looking tho.

My carpal tunnel is coming back. I am shocked at how fast it has returned and almost completely at the point to where it was when I first got the cortisone shots. So I need to reschedule my EMG and consult w/ the surgeon but until then I am gonna go see my ortho. Hopefully I can get the shots again. But I also need to discuss a new problem w/ him. Dont know if its related or not. When I put any weight on my forearms and they arent moving, when I finally move they hurt EXTREMELY bad. Thats probably sounds confusing. But for example when I sleep on my stomach I prop myself up w/ my arm. So my arm is holding up weight and are stable/not moving. When I try to change positions its like OMG FUCKING FUCK SHIT ASS BALLSACK.

Yeah.

That bad.

LOL So anyway need to talk to him soon.

I had a dream last night that I finally had a chance to weigh myself and I was over 400lbs. As in I gained lots of weight instead of losing it. Ugh. I really am curious to know if I have lost anything yet. I did check what the calorie/fat was in our dinner last night. And they are low cal/fat. And I could make them even lower fat if the store would ever actually have the reduced fat cream of chk soup.

Alrighty. Well, today should be a good day. Cant wait to see my love and give him lots of anniversary kisses. lol

Our First Weekend.

After getting off work Friday afternoon, my mom called to let me know that first off, my gpa was confused about the procedure. It was just exploratory. They put a camera up in his heart to look around. The dr said there was good news and bad. Good - my gpas heart itself is in good shape, his overall health is good and his lifestyle is still active. Bad - he will need several new stints, an artificial valve replacement and this would require open heart surgery. She wanted him to stay in the hospital, she sent a consult to the cardiac surgeon, and anticipated the surgery complete w/i 72 hours. Well... the surgeon didnt agree. She wants to try and treat w/ meds first. So we will see how he responds to meds. He was discharged and went out to eat w/ my aunts family the same night. Craziness.

Saturday was Ronnies 22nd bday party. It was a blast. Most the family was there. And all the babies. OMG. ALL THE BABIES!!! Riley and Everett. Yay!! It was so nice to finally be able to go to a function. I wish Jon could have come but Saturday afternoons dont work for him bc of work.

Saturday night was cheat night. We were gonna get Olive Garden but it seems like the one in Katy doesnt actually do take out. Lame. So we had Fazolis instead. And that was freaking good. We watched Ted which was pretty funny. And then some how got to talking about politics which was a huge mistake. I felt like a complete bitch and a terrible GF bc I attacked Jon's beliefs. Ugh. Plus I hate politics and it gets me all worked up to point where between Saturday night and Sunday morning (where we started talking about it AGAIN!!) I cried 2 times. Shit. We kinda took a break from each other. He went and played video games and I stayed in bed, then got on the comp in the bedroom until he came in looking for me after about an hour. I hated that. I dont like feeling like that w/ my love.

Later we had our dinner and went grocery shopping for the week. We kicked that grocery stores ass. lol I made a list and torn it in half and went for a divide and conquer approach (there, is that better J?) We were back in the truck in 30 mins. After we got home we watched October Sky, which was very good. And then watched Summer Rental, which was the typical 80's family vacation rental comedy. So typical. But funny.

Then it was bed time, unfortunately we both seemed to have hard a time falling asleep. His tooth was bothering him and I apparently had sympathy pains bc I woke up w/ a toothache. Lame.

Welp. Happy Monday.

Oh yeah!

I completely forgot to tell y'all about my dream last night! Ugh! I hate when I have dreams that feel so real I wake up pissed off or whatever.

So, J and I were in HS and we were dating. Apparently is was kinda new. We were hanging out one day, I think it was supposed to be a weekend, with our group of friends (which was the kickers, btw, which I never associated w/ in HS). We were all hanging out at the pool at my grandparents house, except it was a creek/lake instead of the pool. There was another girl there and some mentioned she was pregnant. Somehow between that "scene" and the next I realized it was Jon's baby. Either someone told me or something. So the next scene I am standing in the hall at school in front of my locker, waiting on Jon to come in. And everyone of our friends know too and he knows I know. Hes purposely waiting till the last minute to come. Finally he walked in as soon as the bell rings and I yell his name. I was like we need to talk. And hes like but first I gotta go check in class. But I wouldnt let him.

Well anyways we try getting off campus for what seems like forever so we can talk. Its literally a maze and there are teachers and stuff following us, plus other skippers, lol. We have to jump off really steep platforms, and climb up bleachers. Finally we get away and I ask him what is going on? I thought he loved me? What does he want? He says he loves me then I woke up.

I was pissed!! It was so frustrating too. All that running around and I never even got any answers. lol
Weird.

MMmm Breakfast

I almost had to actually work a whole day yesterday, but I was offered undertime at 1, so I got off an hour early.  Which worked out well bc I was able to get Chance into his new groomers. I love them so much and they did such a good job. Got home and started dinner. Picked up the bedroom a little. I really need to clean the living room but I have been putting it off. Maybe today or this weekend. Donna came down and apparently needed to socialize bc she hung out w/ me for a few hours and talked. I pretty much kept my mouth shut. I am finally learning my lesson. Its just so hard for me to not talk back. I am a talker.

Jon came home and we ate dinner. The Italian Chicken w/ brown rice came out so good last night. OMG. I probably ate more then J did. I was definitely full when I was done. Packed up our lunches and had some snuggles. Much needed snuggles. Hmm...lol.

Well its Friday. I made it thru my first week M-F. I'll be glad when I get my internal clock set for this schedule. I didnt nap yesterday and went to bed late-ish. Looking forward to sharing my weekend w/ J. Only thing planned so far is my brothers bday party @ 1 on Saturday.

My gpas surgery is today. He has to be at the hosp at 8. So please pray everything goes well. And I'll update again soon.

TGIF :)

Miss Me?

Man I have been meaning to blog all week. But my new schedule makes it more difficult to find time to blog. I guess I could do it after work altho this week I have been busy every single day, even w/ getting off 2-3 hrs early.
Found out late Sunday night that my gpa is having heart problems so Friday he is having surgery. So Krystal, little Everett, and I went over there after I got off on Monday. Then drove back home and pretty much crashed. I was so tired from the schedule swt and lack of sleep, plus then driving to CL and back. OMG. I basically stayed up till J got home, packed our lunches and was out.
Tuesday I got off early, stopped at the grocery store and picked up some chicken for dinner and made some yummy Salsa Chicken. It was a new recipe and it came out soooo good. Since J and I went grocery shopping Sunday night I had planned our dinners for the week. I also had time to do some laundry and argue/talk w/ Donna. Basically the he said/she said between her and J was driving me insane. It was all over the water bill. So when J got home I told him I was paying it. I couldnt take it anymore. I felt so bad bc first off he had had a rough day at work then having to come home to that. But I tried explaining to him, in my mind I knew he was right BUT I needed peace in the house. Its driving me crazy.
Yesterday was another early day. J wanted me to stop by the shop on the way home so I did. He handed me a printed out receipt. He paid the water bill in full. GRRR! I was gonna do it myself. But I should have known better (he wont let me pay for much, I do pay my own bills tho). The water was shut off when I got home. Took Chance to the vet for his annual exam and vaccines. I had yet to take him since I got him. He is a healthy, happy little pup. Got all rabies vaccine, and meds for fleas and heartworm prevention. They also gave me some more eye drops. Before I left I got a referral for a groomers. He needs a haircut bad! lol He looks like a stuff animal right now. Tried another new recipe last night. Chicken and dumplings. Came out so good. Yummy yummy. And like the old couple we are, in bed by 9.

Thats the update. I am gonna try to either update in the mornings when I first get to work or after I get off from now on. Other then that not much else too exciting going on. I am def enjoying being home and being able to feed my man, lol. Our diets are going well. This weekend is my brothers bday party. I'm hoping to do something w/ J, since we finally have weekends together. He has 2 realtor's looking for our place. As soon as we find something, applications and deps made we are outta there. But either way gotta be out by Apr 2.

Mkay this was a pretty good update. I'm done. :)

Dropping Shoes

I have currently been preparing for some blog dumping. I know my post lately have been, well, boring and pretty few and far between. Its mostly related to the fact that J and I are basically in life hiatus. We are currently suspended in motion and have been for a few months. Although we jumped very quickly from dating to living together, we kinda stalled out for 3 months. First waiting for my schedule change that is literally only days away. Technically 2 days away. Holy crap. But yes so that is the first one and we thought that would never come.

Now it seems we are becoming anxious for the other shoe to drop; so to speak. Another 2 months of kinda holding our breath and just getting thru the day to day. I'm speaking of course of the lease ending here and J and I getting our own place separate from Danny and Donna.

I feel like the first thing I should be blogging about is work and my work schedule changing. But now I really feel like the most pressing for me to just get out is the move. Just to be clear before I start, Jon would never had moved me in if he knew what those 5 months would be like. So yeah.

I am losing my mind slowly. I hate hate hate hate hate living her w/ Donna. I am the type of person who feel like communication is key. Period. Adults need to discuss things. Roommates need to talk. Every person in this house has a different way to handle issues that arise. Now... on top of that Donna is a drug addicted unemployed felon stupid fucking bitch and Danny is an alcoholic dumb ass. First the alcohol binges, then drugs. They fight. They owe money. They break shit. But there's a million fucking issues w/ the money, bills, and payments...

I could go on and on.

I am so fed up. And I feel so bad for Jon. Being on the other side of family drama...SHIT. FUCKING FUCK ME. Its gotten to where I stay in our room all 3 days off. I don't want to have anything to do w/ them. But I hate to feel this way, in a place I have to call home. I have kinda jokingly thought what if I left temporarily until we got our own place. But I would never never never EVER leave Jon behind. I couldn't imagine going back to the way it was those first few weeks. Oh God. No.

Guess what babe. 75 Days. 75 nights until April 2.

So, we'll do it together. One day at a time.
I can't wait.

NSV

Non Scale Victory

1. My ankles arent swollen at the end of the day any more.
2. I put on my tennis shoes and tied them w/o feeling like I was gonna rupture my sleen trying to bend over.
3. My fav long sleeve vneck black shirt that used to make my boobs look amazing it to baggy and uncomfy.

Sweet!

A New Year. A New Me.

Some things that I am looking forward to w/ the weight loss.

1. Being able to shop till I drop again. Right now my back starts to hurt really soon. So a few of these are gonna be related to that but I want to be specific.
2. Going to the Ren Fest.
3. I really wanna go ride some go-carts.
4. PAINTBALL :)
5. Going to the Texas Battleship thingy w/ Jon.
6. Concerts.
7. Football/Baseball Games (going to them, not playing)
8. Amusement Parks/Roller Coasters.
9. I wanna skydive.

Pretty much just being more active in general. I feel like I have let my weight hold me back from so much the last 2-3 years and that makes me sad. I always said I would never let that happen.

There are a lot of other things to look forward to also. Like:

1. Buying clothes in a reg store.
2. Being able to buy a ladies version of shirts (ie: concert, sports)
3. I want Jon to be able to pick me up all cute like and not like a fireman lift. lol

Then of course there are mental/emotional reasons.

1. Not feeling like everyone is staring at me bc I'm fat.
2. I have a lot of social anxiety about new places and stuff and I know its bc of my weight, wondering if they have space for me, will I be comfortable, seating, etc, so not having to worry about that.
3. Being a thin bride.
4. Being healthy enough to hopefully be able to get pregnant w/o any fertility issues.
5. Having a healthy pregnancy.

So yeah, thats not all of it but I wanted to remind myself why this is gonna be the time for me. I'm 30 and starting over fresh.

I GOT THIS!!! :)

Beggars cant be Choosers

The other night I needed gas on my way home. Bad call there. But I had planned on going during my lunch break but the drive thru took too long. Now, I could have made it home w/o stopping but I was trying to avoid J lecturing me about it being bad for my car to go that low on gas. Anyways, so I stop. Its 12:30am. I am white. And female. And I work like in HOUSTON HOUSTON. Not like in a suburb. BUT I haven't ever had issues before. So I swipe my card and start to pump. This young black guy came up to me and started begging me for a ride. I couldnt freaking believe it. And to make matters worse he was upset w/ me when I told him no. I was like you have got to understand my reason for not doing it. Then when I wouldnt give in he started begging for money. I had $5 cash and he was getting closer and closer while I was trying to get in my car so I just gave him the $$ and drove off. But he really fucking pissed me off. Its night time, I am female and alone. Dont come up to me. Otherwise I am going to assume you are trying to do something to me. I dont care if you are white, black, young, old, hell even male or female. Get away. And to make me feel bad bc I'm not gonna drop you off somewhere, give me a break.
Ugh...
Learned my lesson tho. No more late night gas stops.

Tabs

• Diet is going very well. We had our first cheat meal. We took my dad out to eat and I enjoyed some cheesy mexican.Walked out feeling comfortable not miserable and even had 1/2 glass of Dr. Pepper. First non scale victory (NSV) this week. My feet/calves arent swelling up any more. Which is a huge deal to me bc I know where that leads. I really need to buy a scale.
• 9 more days till my new schedule starts. OMG!!!!
• Today is Barbara, Jons moms bday. I called and wished her HBD. But I had been planning on calling her one day just to talk. I really like his mom. Shes so sweet. And its super important to me to have a better relationship this time around...someone elses mom was a bitch. What? Thats how I feel. But yeah she went and had her nails done...we should have done that together. That would have been fun.
• I got all 5 seasons of Big Bang Theory on dvd. I cant freaking wait till they come in.
• I also ordered a big thing of Jelly Bellys to put in my awesome new candy dispenser. Jelly beans are an ok snack as long as I watch portions and sugar intake.

Hmm I think thats about it for now.

Boring Post-Dont Bother Reading

Not a whole lot is going on. Not anything worth blogging about really. Its been 7 days on the diet. I am doing really well. I even lowered my daily calorie intake. I spoke w/ my momma and she still has a YMCA membership so we are gonna go together. I am excited. Shes gonna push me tho, so I better be ready, lol.
I am addicted to youtube now. I started adding subscriptions and omg I love PVP and BFvsGF. But I also watch Tyler Oakley, Jenna Marbles, Max No Sleeves, yeah a bunch...but watching all the old content is time consuming and very entertaining. I love it.
Hmmm 13 more days till my schedule changes. Wahoo!!
Wish I had something more interesting to talk about but so sorry, I dont.
:)

A Lifestyle Change

Jon and I signed up for myfitnesspal.com to keep track of our calories and what we eat. So far so good. Its been 4 days. I can say that I am craving something sweet. This happens to me every night tho. I grew up in a house where we had low fat/low sugar ice cream or popcorn every night. So I am used to snacking. But I lowered my calories yesterday and I am just at my cal intake so I dont wanna go over. Jon is doing really good. I am so proud. He threw away all the candy and soda yesterday. I was shocked. I mean...we can have candy sometimes...sad faces. But its best to start off strong.
I feel like I need to be adding some physical activity to my daily routine. It will be good for me and it will help kick start the weight loss process. I kinda wanna do a gym or YMCA or something that me and J could go to like 3 x's a week. Where he can do whatever and I can ride one of those bikes w/ the back rest. And swim. Swimming is good. I did that one summer and w/i 3 weeks I could feel my stamina increasing. But for now I'm gonna google some stretches or something to so. My arms are killing me.
I dont wanna get my hopes up, but I am really excited about this. I hope it works.

First Day of 2013

I woke up this morning by my love giving me some loving and kisses. What a nice way to start the day. I think so at least. After we rang in the new year, morning style, heh, we decided to go have breakfast. Of course by that time it was almost 3. But ihop was busy. So we had Mexican. Then we stopped and got some non soda drinks until I can go grocery shopping tomorrow. We are starting our "life style change." I'm excited. First day down and I can say honestly I did not cheat. What about you Jon? Did you have any soda??
After that we came home and he played the xbox while I napped w/ him on the couch till I had to go to work :( Had to work for 4 hours. The only good thing about all this is my check. I am gonna have 108-ish hours on my next check. Heck YES!!
I think I forgot to blog about how Jon thinks its an awesome idea for me to meet all his friends and their wife's for the first time ever by us all going to play paintball.

Yay.

NO! No Yay.
I have terrible anxiety over this. lol I mean I did. I am trying to calm myself down. But I mostly worry about being too fat and slow and that my feet and back will hurt too much and yeah...

*Yes I am watching the youtube videos, J, it hasnt helped.*

2013

HAP-PY NEW YEARSSSSSS!!

Last night I did have to work but the manager, Lisa, was offering undertime, so I quickly accepted it. I got to leave at 8:30 and was kinda thinking about going to the family bonfire. I was conflicted tho bc Jon was sick and the weather was bad. During the drive home I made up mind 100%. The people on the road were freaking insane and it was only 9. We would have had to drive all the way to Dickinson and then back to Katy @ like 1am. So we spent our first NYE at home alone...or so we thought. We picked up some take out, ordered a PPV and snuggled w/ Chance on the couch. We actually ended up dozing off. Luckily we woke up at 11:30. We were both bummed out when the "idiots upstairs" came home and then Donna actually decided she wanted to ring new year w/ us. Jon was pissed. Plus then she started egging him on to shoot the rest of his fireworks.
BUT her and Danny wouldnt let up so we all went out, and we ended up having fun. Wish we would have got more. It was def a different experience then my home town. We cant shoot off fireworks, people do anyway of course, but the experience is totally different. You run out to the street, light one, run back up inside and make sure no cops come. But here, leading up midnight and for awhile after it was just going off.
I got my new years kiss and we headed to bed. While in bed we discussed our goals for 2013. Which #1 is our weight. Man this is gonna be tough but we can do it. I think its gonna be slightly more difficult at first and then get easier when my schedule changes and then once we are in our own place it will be fine. We also talked about the past 4 months. It was a nice night.

Anyway, I am looking forward to 2013. Good night